McMillanElite :: Becky Guyette
Entry #69
Week of October 13, 2008
by Becky Guyette
Today I fly back home. The past four months has been the longest that I have been away from the Treasure Valley in the last 11 years. I am imagining it will feel surreal to be there as a visitor and see all the changes.
Living in Flagstaff can sometimes have an unreal feeling as well, like I am living in a parallel universe or on a vacation in running paradise. I love the trails, team, and Flag but the cliché "living a dream" really seems to accurately describe my feelings.
Thinking back to the way I lived in Boise I always had someone to help take care of me whether it be my family who would always be there (even if it meant coming to jump my car after I accidentally left the lights on...again), or a roommate who did the cooking (most likely out of fear of the house burning down), or friends who supported and understood my Becky ways. When I left I questioned how I was even going to survive and deal with not having my network of loved ones around.
Having to depend more upon myself in Flag has helped me grow in a lot of ways and I feel as though I am maturing as both a person and a runner. I find myself seeking ways to learn things I have always wanted to know, taking more responsibility for myself, and working towards achieving personal goals.
I have Paige and Lindsay to thank for a lot of my growth; both have been role models in different ways, probably unknowingly. I respect Paige's discipline, and Lindsay's constant awareness. Not to mention they are both amazing cooks, which inspires me to try harder because normally what they are eating looks a lot better than what I have made for myself.
My abilities as a runner are developing by learning how to listen to my own body and doing what is best for me. I really appreciate the encouragement and patience that I have received from Greg and Trina in workouts as they try to help me raise awareness and figure how to take control of my running.
There are still times when I mess up and do something that is completely "Becky" and I feel frustrated at myself but all I can do is take responsibility and focus on improving.
It is amazing how steadily change transpires if we continue to try to better ourselves. I think those transformations are what is helping McMillan Elite excel; everyday as a whole we are steadily building our bodies and focusing on improving. There is a lot of excitement and pride on McMillan Elite as the team continues to progress and have some stellar races. This weekend the team will all be rooting for Martin and Andrew Carlson (making his McMillan Elite debut) racing in England.
When I came to McMillan Elite it was to make advances in my running career and everyday I live and work towards that dream no matter how unreal it feels. Getting to go back home to family and friends is going to be wonderful because I miss them and without their support and encouragement I never would have made it here (I probably would have burned to death while trying to cook pasta, or froze in a parking lot because my car battery was dead).
So thank you for all of those years of taking care of and loving me. I am very excited to come to visit and hear about all the things that have happened since I left and share stories about my new home and team. Hopefully I won't be the only one noticing changes.
Entry #56
Week of August 25, 2008
by Becky Guyette
Running is considered an individual sport, glamorized as a lone wolf fighting against a whole pack of competitors. For me I feel very different because I am not a lone wolf. In fact I have a whole pack of amazing teammates, coaches, family, friends, sponsors, massage therapists, trainers, and community behind me. McMillan Elite is more than a group of people that all live separate lives that show up to practice against each other. It is a family and everyone truly cares and inspires one another. We get together to celebrate life’s joys like birthdays, weddings, watching races, or just to enjoy each other’s company. Our extracurricular activities don’t compromise our goals as runners, and somehow our diverse group of runners strikes a balance to make a positive, well-rounded team. |
On Monday half of our team went to race in the New Haven 20k Championships and I felt like a part of me was racing with them. I was so excited to have them all compete because I see the dedication that each one of them lives every day. I have seen the choices they have made and the hard work they have put into pursuing their passion for running. We came out with some awesome performances with Cele, Ian and Paige all placing in the top 10!
Running can be a lonely sport but having encouragement during the tough times and people to celebrate with in the great times are an exceptional experience. It is exciting to have the team starting to compete as we move forward into the racing season with marathons just around the corner for some, and others with their focus set on championship races, or testing out new territories. Everyone is working so hard and while it is the individuals that make up McMillan Elite there is a pack behind each of our lone wolves helping us towards success and I feel so thankful and lucky to be a part of it.
Entry #44
Week of July 14, 2008
by Becky Guyette
7am last week I was loading up my car for my move out of the Treasure Valley (Boise) in hopes of finding legitimate riches in Flagstaff. My mom took my picture as I jammed my body in the only remaining crevasse of my car, and bid me good luck. As I drove away it occurred to me how close to dying my dreams had become. I started to realize the stages I had gone through. First there was denial of the fact that I was giving up running for a career. Next came anger: I had gotten to the point that I was so angry I was not running that I could no longer even look at running information or talk about running without getting upset. Then I started to bargain with myself and tell myself that soon I would have time enough away from work to get back into training and competitions. I knew the depression had sunk in when I sat on my couch one morning at 9am eating clam chowder with crushed pretzels sprinkled on top, drinking a cold Corona. I was overweight and without a care for my body, almost in acceptance. It was the final stage of dying, acceptance that was inundated with a feeling of regret that tormented me. |
In my office at work I had written on a green sticky note a quote that a friend had told me that really struck me: "The only regrets you have in life are the risks you do not take." I regretted not continuing to run. I knew in my heart there was more.
So I risked it.
I went into work (before I knew where I was going) on the day my boss was giving me a raise and put in a months notice. I subleased my apartment, moved in with a friend, and drove down to Stanford to watch the women's 10k American record be set. From there it was a month of exploration and travel to different training groups and locations to finally find home.
7am this morning, recovering from my near death experience, I went for a run in the beautiful mountain trails in Flagstaff, with a feeling of thankfulness, joy, and assuredness.
My dream's more alive than ever.
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